ugg..

Ok so I had quite a bit planned out for this time of year, admit it or not. With taxes we were planning on doing many things - but low and behold, my hubbys school loans stripped every dime we were going to attempt to get back away from us. I've been playing the 'cool' card like I'm not bothered by it at all. But it crushed me. The one time in over a year I could have money to myself, and it was taken from me, because of his debt. I am a bit angry at him about it - but he has no idea. I've been spending what spare time I can to help him with the guilt he feels about it.  If I don't make a big deal about it, then he will get over it quicker.
Basically taking one for the team - so there went my chances on a new tablet to draw with, premium membership for DA and Neo, and anything else I could have just thrown money into that I normally can't do. I can't post it on FB, or LJ because he can read that, but here - I know he won't even check it here.
Now I have countless family and friends trying to do things for me and him, and though I clearly understand it may be a nice gesture, but I feel its out of pity, then anything. -  I have only told only a half full of people about this situation but shy of maybe 2 - everyone else has tried to offer money, or gift us things, or what have you. And out of Pride, I refuse. I don't need anything really, but it's tough, cause as I continue to think of how much we could have had, or whatever, any spare money we do get now has to get dumped into his car to fix this piece of crap scrap car hes been 'working' on.
Though I am playing it very cool - it bothers me more then anything has in quite some time. But to continue to play the cool card, cause if Mommy is fine with it, everyone else will be fine with it.
Can't wait until his stupid car is finished though, I am so fed up with hearing about it, seeing its junk parts sitting around collecting dust, and the thought of it alone, simply pinches a nerve.
Though I don't think anyone in my family or friends circle can tell - I emotionally am hitting a new time low. More or less unhappy - and when I'm not feeling totally unhappy, I'm angry. The faint joy comes at night when I lay with my husband, or hearing my children laugh or hug me. But those moments are quickly washed away with waves of sadness.
I can't even motivate myself to make graphics right now.

*Graphic Update*
For the non-ending Desktop Pony Drama the artists have created, I will no longer be making anything Pony Sprite Related. I personally have NOT been a target - not that they would have reason cause credit is given, where needed. But since their project has slown down, if not died out, they have *far* too much time on their hands with harassment of DA members.
My two cents is, Hasbro has FULL Copywrite over the characters,  Desktop Pony team does not.
If you want to have a right to bitch about people who 'steal' - then actually MAKE your own work.
- Don't whip up a bunch of pixels based off copywrite characters, and then hunt people down who
use your stuff to make their own stuff, then request DA points to make other people.
I mean for gods sake, THIS IS THE INTERNET - IT HAPPENS.
Your going to spend days/weeks on harassing someone for asking for 50 cents for their
time? I'll give you 50 cents in points to have you STFU, sound fair?
Pretty much every single digital artist knows the risk of uploading via-web , and theft.
I've seen a strong handful of their artists making blogs, harassing members (even innocent ones)
in regards to the sprites. Fact is - minus using the sprites for bases, they are next to useless.
Urimas makes MUCH better sprites, and he has such a better attitude about it all as well.

-
However, New outlook will be, Neopets.
And Bases.

So stay tuned.